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“They’re single girls who’ve been single for a very long time, so they figure, ‘Why not? They wear nice suits, drive expensive cars and have courtside seats at NBA games. Ferman, whose story is somewhat legendary in the matchmaking community, met her husband, Gil, in 1990 when he was the director of Great Expectations, the dating service, in St. “You’re not really supposed to date your own clients, it’s kind of an unspoken rule, but it happens all the time,” said Ms.
Ferman, who estimated that 30 to 40 percent of married matchmakers around the country have found their spouses through their own services.
When men first start working with me, they feel like before each comment they have to apologize.”Ms. Another matchmaker in New York, who requested anonymity so as not to offend her clients, echoed that sentiment.
“The majority of the time I don’t want to date my clients because I can see why they’re single,” said the matchmaker, who has dated one client in her time playing Cupid.
“Matchmakers aren’t robots,” said Amy Laurent, a relationship expert and Bravo reality TV star.
Sometimes she is, she said—and often potential clients will email her about going out after she hands them her business card. He asked, as many do in the introductory conversation, if she was single. Today’s entrepreneurial love peddlers often rely on their own looks and charisma to build their brand and attract clients—though maybe not in the way they’d imagined.
“The distraction of me being an attractive woman gets in the way of doing the job,” said Carmelia Ray, a veteran matchmaker in Toronto and the author of Finding the One: The A-Z Secrets to Attracting and Keeping Your Soul Mate. Spindel, who has worked in the business for 24 years, says she’s responsible for 1,517 of them—“or something like that”—and sees herself as the city’s unmatched ’maker.
“They’ll want to text us, check in and have banter,” said Erika Christensen, who founded Train Spottings, the service in which matchmakers roam the subways searching for potential mates. We try to establish boundaries early and often.”The Train Spottings method can be particularly troubling. “It’s sort of frustrating because it’s a lot of work to find single people for other people, and then to have someone sign up and have it become seemingly useless after that is, like, so annoying.”Other clients, though, are more up front about their intentions. C., said she would wear her wedding ring in client meetings to fend off grabby guys. “It was probably the easiest match we ever had,” she said.
Kady Grant, a 25-year-old employee of the unconventional company, said she initially went up to strangers and asked them cold if they were single, which gave the impression she was interested in them. One day, though, she forgot it—the only day, in fact—and met the man who would become her husband. “I had the privilege of learning everything about him that most women would want to know about their date without having to go through that awkward first-date conversation.”The age of the haimish, old-world matchmaker epitomized by Yenta in Fiddler on the Roof, is long gone.
“Don’t get your meat where you get your bread,” she said.