Sick and tired of online dating
As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy.
Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time.
So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them.
As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation.
If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet.
It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she?
I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to.
The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.